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Common mistakes in divorce mediation

Divorce mediation may not always be a smooth process, no matter how cooperative you try to be. Chances are you will make a mistake or two before and during discussions. A skilled and effective attorney-mediator can help overcome even the most significant setbacks.

Some mistakes to avoid in divorce mediation and the entire process of marital dissolution include:

Refusing To Consider Any Alternative To Litigation

Like many couples, you and your spouse may assume that a trial is a default position. Divorce mediation quickly becomes a non-starter, especially when both sides refuse to budge on important issues.

Divorce litigation lengthens the time it will take to finalize a divorce, whether you and your spouse agree or not. Meanwhile, money that could be spent on children ends up going towards attorney fees to fight courtroom battles that may very well end up placing those same kids in the middle.

Failing To Plan

Being caught up in the emotional elements of divorce distracts you from planning for a financially stable, post-divorce future. While spousal and child support attend to day-to-day needs, you need to consider your long-term future.

Nothing will make up for the personal loss you feel now. However, key decisions on the family home, investments and retirement assets can provide a sense of clarity, if not financial security.

Not Speaking Up

A life-changing event shakes the confidence of the most self-assured person. You may fear that the mistakes of marriage will infect the divorce mediation process. Guilt may also play a role in impairing much-needed negotiation skills. In the end, all you want to do is to wrap things up as soon as possible so you can move on.

That silent compliance will not help you get the things you need. There is no reason to accelerate a process that is already known for its efficiency. You must make your voice heard.

Letting Emotions Dictate Your Behavior

No one will deny that you are on an emotional roller coaster. The anger you feel is understandable and perfectly normal. However, personal issues must be set aside in the divorce mediation process.

Focusing on past transgressions only creates hostility. Resentment can cause you to lose sight of perhaps the most important issue: the best interests of your children.

Choosing divorce mediation over litigation is anything but a mistake. It allows you to save the time, money and heartache that often comes with a lengthy and contentious trial.

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